The assumption is that we are all tend to want to well-being in every shape or form and we know what to do in order to get it, but did you know that humans are not naturally made that way.
It’s true, we are made with in-built ‘negative bias’. This means that us humans have a natural tendency to register negative stimuli and to dwell on these events. We are made to notice the mistake or the insult over the pleasant event.
“The state of being comfortable, healthy and or happy: it means leading a life that is enjoyable”
Negative events have a greater impact on the brain than positive ones and you know what, we like it this way. It’s what we know and what are accustomed to.
Well-being means ‘the state of being comfortable, healthy and or happy: it means leading a life that is enjoyable’.
That sounds reasonable and easily attainable doesn’t it? Yet for us humans it’s not because whilst we all have the capacity for better well-being ‘far too often it can feel tantalisingly just out of reach. We often feel that we don’t deserve to be happy and can find ourselves comparing our well-being with someone else’s and berating ourselves for not being happy/successful/fulfilled as we should be’.
“We all have the capacity for better well-being, but far too often it can feel tantalisingly just out of reach”
And there it is and it’s tricky.
Many of us are stuck in patterns that might include over worrying, avoidance, impulsive and reactive behaviour or self criticism and this can lead to unhappiness and stop us from making a decision we would like or leading the lives we envisaged.
So those of us who are genuinely interested in well-being as our part of our business, how do we cultivate genuine, long lasting interest and action towards ‘well-being for life’ rather than just a fleeting moment of change or enjoyment?
“What if we stop to look at what we’re thinking, how we’re feeling or what we’re doing in any given moment?”
Research and experience suggests we know that we don’t need to be in these unhelpful patterns but sometimes it takes a jolt, a missed opportunity perhaps, to get us wondering if there is another way.
What if we stop to look at what we’re thinking, how we’re feeling or what we’re doing in any given moment? What if we started to notice our habits, even the unhealthy ones, and were able to take a pause to consider how do I really want to respond here?
I’m going to apologise right now for linking this back to interiors, it doesn’t totally work but it kind of does too if you think of it just as a day-to-day situation – for example – what if after a busy day’s work instead of looking at those house plans and automatically thinking I’m too tired, I don’t understand them, they’re going to make me quarrel with my partner, I just want to go to the pub or look at social media or hide in the gym.
What if, after treating yourself gently and with kindness, the answer was YES I actually do want to make time to look at the plans, because then I know we can make the decisions about our home and lives going forward.
Imagine that kind of well-being!